Helping Your Parents Decide Where to Live Next: A Guide for Adult Children

Sometimes the conversation starts with a phone call. A parent mentions that the stairs are getting harder, or that the yard is too much work. Sometimes it starts after a fall, or after a visit home when you notice things have changed.

However it begins, many adult children find themselves asking the same question: How can I help my parents decide what comes next, especially if I live in another state?

I’m Monica Condomitti, a Luxury Real Estate Advisor with MC Luxury Real Estate at Coldwell Banker, serving Rio Verde and North Scottsdale, Arizona. My role is the housing side of this decision. Here’s how I’d suggest thinking it through.

Keep Your Parent at the Center

This is the most important part. It’s your parent’s life and your parent’s home. The goal isn’t to decide for them. It’s to help them see their options clearly and choose what fits the life they want now.

Many people want to stay independent, active and connected for as long as possible. The right home can help make that possible.

Option 1: Staying in the Home They Love

For some parents, the best answer is to stay where they are, with some changes. Questions to talk through:

• Is the home single-level, or could daily life move to one floor?
• Would grab bars, better lighting or a walk-in shower make the home safer?
• Who will take care of the yard, the pool and regular maintenance?
• How far away are family, friends and healthcare?

Staying can work beautifully when the home and the support around it fit.

Option 2: Moving to a Community

Arizona has many kinds of communities, from active-adult and golf communities to independent living and places with more support available when it’s needed.

The best way to compare them is in person. Visit more than once. Have a meal, look at the calendar of activities, and talk with people who live there. A community with neighbors, clubs and things to do can make a real difference in how someone feels day to day.

Option 3: Living With or Near Family

Some families choose to live closer together. That might mean a parent moving nearby, a home with a guest suite or casita, or a family buying a home together.

If you’re considering a casita or guest house, check what’s allowed. Rules come from the town or county and from the HOA, and they vary from one community to the next.

What Happens to the Family Home?

Whatever your parent chooses, there’s usually a decision to make about their current home: sell it, keep it, or rent it. Each choice has different costs, timing and responsibilities.

This is where I can help most. I can give the family a clear picture of what the home might sell for, what it would cost to keep, and a realistic timeline, so everyone can decide from the same information. I wrote more about this in Before You Sell the Family Home, Understand Your Options.

Get Everyone on the Same Page

When there are several siblings, it helps to share the same facts and agree on roles. Who will help with the move? Who has authority to make decisions if a parent can’t? Those conversations are much easier before there’s a crisis.

Bring In the Right Professionals

Housing is only one part of this decision. Health and care questions belong with your parent’s doctors. Legal questions, such as powers of attorney, trusts and title, belong with an attorney. Financial and tax questions belong with a financial advisor or CPA. I’m always happy to coordinate with the family’s other professionals on the real estate side.

Start Before You Have To

I learned this one personally. I had to help move my parents-in-law after a health problem. We had never talked about it before, and suddenly it became a decision on a deadline. I had one month to find them a new home after 50 years in their own home.

More recently, I’ve helped clients go through the same thing with their parents. Keeping a parent independent for as long as possible, and then finding a place where they feel safe and comfortable, may be one of the most important decisions you make for them.

When you start early, you have time to tour several places, and your parent can have a real say in the choice. If you wait until an emergency, the choice is often simply whatever is available at that moment.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I start the conversation with my parents about moving?

Start with their goals, not your worries. Ask what they enjoy, what feels harder than it used to, and what they want the next few years to look like. Then explore options together.

Should my parent stay in their home or move?

It depends on their health, their home, and the support around them. Some homes can be adapted to work well. Others become harder to manage. Visiting communities can help a parent compare.

What should we do with my parent’s house if they move?

The main choices are selling, keeping, or renting it. A real estate conversation can show what the home might sell for and what it would cost to keep, so the family can decide with clear information.

Helping Them Find Their Next Adventure

Helping a parent decide where to live next is one of the most caring things you can do. With patience, good information and your parent at the center, it can become the start of a new adventure rather than a hard ending.

If your family is working through this decision, I’d be honored to help with the real estate side. Whether your parent’s home is in Rio Verde, Tonto Verde, Trilogy at Verde River, Fountain Hills, North Scottsdale or Troon North, your next adventure starts with one conversation.

Monica Condomitti
Luxury Real Estate Advisor
MC Luxury Real Estate at Coldwell Banker
Rio Verde / North Scottsdale, Arizona
www.MonicaCondomitti.com
480-822-9553